A Reflection & Acknowledgement

Life is marked by milestones that shape our journey. Reflecting on nearly sixty years, I am reminded of the anticipation and excitement that came with each significant birthday—as a child, time seemed to move slowly. I eagerly awaited turning 16, dreaming of the freedom that came with a driver’s license. Each week felt like an eternity, but the promise of adulthood loomed large. At 18, I was legally an adult, although the distinction felt arbitrary—we could join the armed forces but not legally drink. The ultimate milestone came at 21 when we could partake in all the adult activities, signaling the end of age-based restrictions.

Once I reached these milestones, time accelerated. Suddenly, I was 22, then 25, and before I knew it, I was 30. Birthdays and holidays flew by, each one a reminder of time’s relentless march. In my early 20s, I set ambitious goals, like becoming a millionaire by 30. Though I missed it by just under a month, the journey was fulfilling. My partner Mark Fitzpatrick and I began negotiations to sell Tidalwave in November 1994 and finalized the sale to Veritas in April 1995, just 20 days after my 30th birthday.

In 1995, I committed to celebrating my life and the relationships that enriched it. My 30th birthday at the Swig Suite in San Francisco marked the beginning of a tradition—every five years, I gather friends and family to celebrate. These gatherings are my way of thanking those who have been part of my journey, and the memories created are priceless.

Memorable Celebrations

30th Birthday (March 19th 1995): Swig Suite, Fairmont Hotel, San Francisco, California

Embraced relationships over material gifts, asking for donations to charity instead.

My 30th birthday celebration in 1995 at the Swig Suite in the Fairmont Hotel, San Francisco, was a turning point. It marked the start of a tradition of bringing together the people who have been a significant part of my journey. Instead of gifts, I asked my guests to donate to a charity of my choice, focusing on the true essence of friendship and connection. This first gathering set the tone for what would become a cherished tradition. The theme was “Land,” celebrating the foundation of relationships and achievements built over the years.

35th Birthday (March 18th 2000): San Francisco Bay, San Francisco California

A beautiful day/evening on the water with friends and family.

Five years later, I took to the sea for my 35th birthday. It was one of San Francisco Bay's most beautiful days and evenings. Surrounded by friends and family, we sailed through the waters, basking in the beauty of nature and the joy of companionship. The serenity of the bay, combined with the warmth of my loved ones, made it a celebration to remember. The theme was “Sea,” embracing life's fluidity and vast possibilities.

40th Birthday (March 16th - 20th 2005): Sydney, Australia.

It was a challenging yet rewarding event, with 91 guests, 70 of whom traveled from across the globe. Special thanks to Patrick Guerrera for overseeing every aspect of the event, from invitations and chefs to venues and entertainment. I am forever in your debt.

For my 40th birthday, I decided to challenge myself and my loved ones by hosting the celebration in Sydney, Australia. The presence of 91 guests, with over 70 traveling from as far as New York in the East and Japan in the West, was an overwhelming testament to the bonds we share. Sydney’s vibrant culture and stunning landscapes provided the perfect backdrop for this milestone, making it an unforgettable experience. The theme was “Air,” symbolizing the heights we can reach and the freedom of the skies.

45th Birthday (March 18th 2010): CLIFT Hotel, San Francisco, California

A celebration with over 70 guests filled with joy and gratitude. Special thanks to Michelle Novick, the event planner for the entire event, even though she is also a dear friend and guest.

Returning to San Francisco for my 45th birthday, I chose the elegant CLIFT Hotel as the venue. With over 70 guests in attendance, it was filled with joy, laughter, and heartfelt gratitude. Each celebration reminded me of my incredible journey and the fantastic people who have accompanied me along the way.

50th Birthday (March 15 - 19th, 2015): New Orleans Louisiana,

This was a milestone celebration with almost 90 guests from as far as Sydney, Australia; Tokyo, Japan; Berlin, Germany; and Vienna, Austria. Special thanks to Devan Pailet, my first man crush, who connected me with the most influential event planner in New Orleans, creating unparalleled events, food experiences, and entertainment.

My 50th birthday, or half-century mark, was held in the beautiful and historic city of New Orleans in 2015. With almost 90 guests traveling from as far west as Sydney and as far east as Berlin and Austria, it was a true honor to be surrounded by such amazing people. New Orleans's vibrant culture and rich history added a unique charm to the celebration, making it a truly memorable milestone.

55th Birthday: Covid made it impossible to celebrate.

My 55th birthday would have taken place at Duende, a restaurant I co-founded with my dear friend and partner Alex Vorbeck and Chef Paul Canales. However, COVID-19 forced us to cancel that celebration, and we just recently closed it for Good.

Acknowledging Influential Figures

In the grand tapestry of life, the threads of relationships, experiences, and personal growth weave together to create a picture of beauty and complexity. My journey from childhood to adulthood, marked by dreams, challenges, failures, and achievements, is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of cherishing each moment. I am grateful for the remarkable individuals who have shaped my life.

My Siblings in order of age.

Paula (Paka to her nephews and nieces)

My sister Paula has always been a force. As a single mother, she has worked tirelessly to care for her son, Jesse. For decades, she has dedicated herself to the elder care industry, ensuring that the elderly receive the best care in their homes. Paula shined brightest when our grandmother Viola, who had suffered multiple strokes and required 24-hour care, needed to be relocated. While our aunts and uncles pointed fingers, Paula stepped in. She got her into the best facility in Los Gatos Hills at no cost to any family member, covered by her social security and her husband’s pension.

I learned how connected Paula was when we took our mom to Lake Tahoe one year. The moment we walked into the Harrah’s/Harvey’s casino, everyone greeted her, and within moments, she had a shot of tequila and a Blue Moon beer in her hand. Despite not being a gambler, she was never without a drink all night. My partner at the time, Joseph Killian, tried to match her drink for drink, and it didn’t go well for him.

Paula has a heart of gold, and I am honored by how much time she spends with our mom, taking her to Tahoe for her birthdays and bringing her to the beach where she lives regularly.

David (the Joker)

My brother David and I, as is probably true for many siblings, didn’t always get along well as kids. One of his biggest “dick moves” was him getting pulled over by the police and, not having his ID, giving my name and date of birth instead. This resulted in my auto insurance doubling while I was in college at Santa Clara due to a bench warrant for failure to appear, all for a violation that David claimed was mine. However, we became very close as our father’s illness progressed, and together, we made the collective decision to put him into hospice and allow him to pass peacefully. This experience brought us together in a way that nothing else could have.

David never really liked working for anyone. He started detailing cars at 14 and built a successful business in the Bay Area, detailing some of the most famous people’s vehicles for 30 years. He has an attention to detail that can turn a car that just came off the track into showroom condition. During the winter, when detailing is less in demand, he explored cooking for others, impressing me with his talent and creativity. I have always said I would fully support David if he wanted to open a food truck.

When I visit Mountain View, he always delivers on my culinary requests. David is not only a master at car detailing but also a fantastic cook, showcasing his versatility and dedication to excellence.

Jena

Last but not least is my baby sister Jena. She followed in my footsteps by attending St. Francis High School and then went on to college, earning her degree in accounting. After graduation, she joined the Big 8 (now the Big 4) accounting firms and eventually branched out on her own, running a boutique accounting and tax firm for high-wealth individuals. Jena’s dedication and hard work have always been an inspiration.

Jena and her husband Simmie worked together to produce an amazing video as her gift to me for my 40th birthday. That video included interviews with many of the most important people in my life, each sharing a little story about me. Simmie, who, if he wanted, could have a career in voice-over, lent his talents to the project.

The video is linked here for those who could not attend the party in Sydney. Jena and Simmie have two amazing sons, Miles and Ezra, who attended my 45th and 50th birthdays and, I hope, will be there for my 60th as well.

My Parents

Gary - RIP

My father, Gary Siress, was a man of many talents. He could play the guitar, sing beautifully, and was an excellent hunter and fisherman. His skill in knife-making was unparalleled, a talent I only truly appreciated later in life when I attempted to make one myself. My father’s artistry and craftsmanship were not just hobbies but expressions of his creativity and dedication. Fortunately, I have a collection of his knives, some of which I use daily. Our relationship evolved into a deep friendship in the last two decades of his life. We shared countless stories and cherished moments together, making his absence at my 50th birthday celebration all the more poignant. His soft heart and warm smile are traits I carry with me, a constant reminder of his love and influence.

Thank you, Dad.

Rachel

Not to be put in second place, my mother, Rachel, deserves immense gratitude for almost single-handedly raising four powerfully independent children. Her strength and determination were the cornerstones of our upbringing. My mother was strict and robust, instilling in us a sense of discipline and resilience. She taught us to solve our problems, often letting us work things out amongst ourselves, almost like a pack or pride of animals: “Don’t kill your brother, don’t get blood on my furniture.” Her organizational skills and neatness were lessons we absorbed from a young age. I remember learning to do laundry when I was around five years old, spending Sundays folding clothes and towels in front of the TV.

My mother’s pride in her children was often expressed outside our home, not within it. We rarely received direct compliments, but her strategy proved successful. Each of us has become independent and successful in our own right, building businesses and thriving on our skills and willpower.

Both my parents were excellent cooks, and their combined southern and Mexican cooking meant our house was always a favorite among our childhood friends. My mother’s tortillas, like her mother’s, are still legendary. Weekends were filled with the delicious aromas of my father’s short-order cooking expertise and my mother’s authentic dishes, with tortillas, salsa, and rice and beans always in abundance.

To the Future and Beyond

The next chapter is filled with more milestones, celebrations, and cherished moments. To my friends and family, thank you for being a part of my journey. Your presence, support, and love have been the greatest gifts of all. - Tony